Foundation is a word you hear a lot in dog training. It is also a word used to define groundwork for a project, idea, movement, building – many, many things.
I never gave the word much thought until going to the Farm and owning Boo. Then I heard foundation as it applies to dogs a lot.
Everyone has opinions, traits, methodology and material they consider best for laying a foundation when training a dog. Builders and engineers have math, structure and planning with which to build a foundation. Though have you ever thought about your own spiritual or mental foundation and what it was built on?
For the most part, you didn’t build it. It was built from your experiences – who was there, what your part was, how things were handled, resolved – or not. The variables are endless and it only makes sense who you are right now is the product of your foundation.
Going through this cancer thing I realized a lot of my successes in life and just about all of my failures are a direct result of my foundation. Cancer isn’t just about getting sick and getting better – or not – it’s also about teaching. Nothing has ever taught me more.
One prominent thing I learned while digging up my old foundation is a lot of relationships I thought I had with people – I never really did. Many of the relationships I have with people I always knew were strong became stronger. I learned other relationships ran so much more deeply than I knew.
It took a lot to let go – to not put the blame on myself, to not feel guilty about dropping the lines for a million reasons. Tammy has helped me find these places within and dump them out, look through them, dispose of the fragments and to heal.
During my most recent session I had two visuals. It was the first time I had a visual during a session.
The initial visual was disturbing in its quietness though I knew right away it was a building block of sorts – a series of squares made by two-by-fours. Some of the squares of Earth housed puddles, others, sand, rock, marl – materials you would expect in a fresh, to-be-built-upon area. Looking around though, I noticed it was definitely not new construction – there were portions of walls, pipes and the like here and there.
The other visual was of a large, heavy door that had one of those slide latches on it. I hate them. There is a gate at the Farm with one of these latches and it makes me crazy, I don’t know why, it just does. In the visual I was working the latch though it didn’t open all the way and that didn’t seem like a bad thing – it was just an is. Tammy was excited about the visuals and told me that they were letting me know that yes, I had dug up that old foundation, removed it and I was ready to lay a new one. The door let me know that I am ready to push through and transition to a new life I will live my way with relationships that are not one-way streets and with thought processes that are pure and truthful, calm and kind.
I don’t think you have to almost die to have this type of transition, though it probably does push the envelope some. Digging up that foundation this past year wasn’t easy and I am excited to move on. I mined the material my old foundation was built with and sent it off with love and gratitude for what it taught me, returning it to the rightful owners who bestowed it upon me.
I carried it long enough, allowed it to manifest and it nearly killed me.
Now, I am free to begin again.