Terminal cancer will lead you to new experiences as well as bring memories of the “unfinished” of your life rushing to the surface. These are all conquerable once you take advantage of the diagnosis.
Taking advantage of a cancer diagnosis sounds pretty awful, I know. Though if you do get this diagnosis, to live well and with positivity and joy, you must change it into something that works for you. Easier said than done most definitely – though you can.
The odds of me being here, right here right now in this infusion chair receiving immunotherapy and preventative chemotherapy were non-existent a year ago yet here I am. It’s not because I have the best care (though I really do), or I am extremely healthy for my age other than cancer or I am lucky or any of the earthbound factors. I am here because this disease and I have a purpose together – one I am committed to serve and see through. Trusting the process and giving up control of the outcome is imperative. You will – one way or another – reach an understanding of your walkabout with cancer.
Once you get there it doesn’t get easier – though there is the spot where you replace the starting blocks, reset and learn more. You will have experiences you can’t put words to – thoughts that beat vibrantly and have definition only perceptible by your heart. If you are open and ready – you work on making your peace in all things and begin completions and new beginnings.
You can dwell on the many things you won’t be doing right now and maybe not ever again and that can hurt a lot. You will, at times, lean into your faith so hard the walls of your personal church creak and sigh beneath the weight. Though the moments of clarity you will spend in the silence of a deep, still night, staring out at the streetlight as if it holds a crystal ball of answers will bring comfort and fill your heart with joy. Obviously you don’t need a cancer diagnosis to do this, though it does lend urgency to rinsing your soul and hanging it on the line to dry.
Whether you are well or ill, take the time to physically plant your feet on the ground and walk out into sunshine, gather your soul to your hands, bury your face and inhale as deeply as you can and exhale slowly, each opportunity you have. Lose yourself in the clean, pure, faith, hope and love the sunlight has gifted your willing hands. Be grateful for getting this far. Every day. I promise – it is better to resolve, redeem and reap the rewards of your life right now than to continue to pack your bags for another day in another walkabout to unpack all over again. Cancer is a tough teacher, though the grace you will receive and pass to others of the “knowing” is magnificent. If you choose this path you have to accept it – always – and claim it. This gives you the power, not cancer.
You will think of all the little and big things you haven’t done – decisions you may wish you made differently. Again, you don’t have to have cancer to arrive at this realization – though if you do, the essence of waning time merely warrants the need to perform your housecleaning a bit more quickly. Don’t sweat it though – it’s just the way it “is.” Grab that broom and give it some hard, righteous sweeps – emotional release is a release like no other.
Ill or well, regret will corrode your soul. If you are called to resolve and complete a soul path or contract, do it with a clear mind. Do not be afraid of the contents of boxes you have stashed away or the items therein you don’t recognize from your old self. Self-honesty has never been more important in your life than it is right now. Put one foot in front of the other, resolve and redeem. I promise you will shine.
Walk with love and gratitude of all you have been given – ever – even the bad stuff because its purpose made you who you are – embrace it. It will all come clear just as it is – remember there is so much you won’t know until it’s time – and then – you must trust as you have never trusted before and give total release. I believe it will be glorious.
As for us, The Three Amigos live in joy. We continue on with our precious time and expansions of our souls on this beach of life, inspecting the shells in the sand, fitting each into our puzzle. The promise of life left to be lived glistens high in the sun as we stand, filled with gratitude, to marvel at the picture it is painting.